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Dr. Jeff Klausner, check
writer, social police chief, morale officer (alcohol level), father of
the "Healthy Penis " (Ask him!) and bow maiden.
|
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Tanya Keen has recently given up
some of her other hobbies including horses and has been working hard to
get out of the Hall of Fame and back in the band! She recently bought
into the Huge experience. Welcome to the business end of racing and congratulations on
bringing some more cow bell to the party, Tanya!
|
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Peter comes to us as a two-fer-one with Tanya and
is definitely the cow bell! He too has decided to take some steps into
the ownership experience. If asked what that is like, he would say it is
all about repairs, a dubious skill which he has demonstrated far too
well!
Although this web site prides itself on
"investigative reporting" meaning dirt, we are short of it on Peter
because he has a hollow leg and seems to be immune to gift pints of
tequila being poured down his throat! Next: the cuffs and a shot of
sodium pentathol! (Water boarding wouldn't work on a real sailor like
Peter)
We do have a glimpse of his
Dark Side though! |
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Mr. Bill Woodruff
PhD. , rocket scientist....no really!
Chief boat engineer, equipment
purchaser, race coordinator/tactician and Church Lady.
Bill is our sugar daddy with a
predilection for racing hardware and the wisdom to know how to use it.
He is rapidly eliminating our excuses for coming second! This is causing
a crisis on board as we continue to win races while trying to preserve
an atmosphere of not being competitive! I guess the answer is, as usual:
drink more beer! |
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Taras has lead an interesting life. A
Ukrainian, relocated to Moscow because of Chernobyl, he became a
Submariner in the Russian Navy and then decided on Helicopters in the
Army instead.
Perhaps reflective on his turbulent and storied
love life (On top and underneath) he has now settled for the graceful
and gentile world of sailing (half in and half out)....of the water, I
mean.
Taras is obviously fearless and happy to try
anything. We keep him guessing by assigning new tasks for him each time
he comes out. Recently he has invited Russell to become an honorary
Russian Submariner, as a trial run to making the
telnyashka a team shirt.
|
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Sergey must have an identity crisis. Whereas
most sailors own a boat and discover all its mysteries, Sergey has no
less than four which he actively sails.
His experience in each type brings with it
layers of racing know how and his attention to the technical aspects
lead to many interesting and informative discussions which are cherished
by this cerebral lot.
With Taras and now Russell he is joining the
Ukrainian Submariner team within the team. |
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Nicole is our new tactician who has honed her
powers of observation of the other boats' tactics to an art form, but is
still in training when we are out in front.
Nicole is also an international jet setting
woman of mystery ("Oh, behave"!), going from boat to boat to collect
intelligence as a secret agent and hopefully using it to work just for
us!
Her Doctorate on board makes three, and brings
this boat up to the standard of being a Think Tank! It is a good job
boats sit in the water, or ours would burn up from all the cranial
activity.
Her most important capability is that she can
bartend at the club so we truly have an inside man wherever she goes.
|
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Stacy Tobias: Main man. Stacy
brings great mechanical skills, strength and enthusiasm as well as
learning ability to his new job winning races for "Huge", but his
real talents lie in his sense of color coordination and immaculate taste
in high end sailing wear.
Stacy is in his element around
very expensive toys which require vast amounts of money to keep going.
He is a proud plane and motorcycle enthusiast. At one point,
recently, a visit to his impossibly clean garage revealed two Harley
Davidsons and a Suzuki road bike, while he apologetically explained that
he had to sell one of his two planes.
Such is the perpetual single
life. We all feel his pain! |
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Aaron "Syrup Daddy" Neuhauser is a quiet, modest main trimming guru. His secret is having owned and operated
another Catalina 30 and has a lot of experience.
With the syrup I mean.
The story behind the picture is that Aaron was
unhappy with being represented as a naked Brad Pitt and sent this head
shot as his best alternative.
Clearly he does not understand his curb
appeal yet, or the power of
Brad Pitt naked. I will have to get out the
camera.
|
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Scotty has graduated from our Monday Night Madness
Kid's series to the big time races. The fact that the series she is
starting with is called the "Party Circuit" had absolutely no influence
whatsoever on her decision to participate and learn. If anything it was
a detriment to her reputation. We mean it. Really. No! Shush!
Then there was the Friday Night Beer Can
Series! Hay, Zip it!
Sailing without foul weather gear in howling
wind and waves, soaked to the skin, for 5 hours without complaining
qualifies her for at least any sailing experience in which there is one
beer left on board. |
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Linda Salas began her attachment to
HUGE when she and certain crew members (not to be named) met
in rehab. She crochets star wars spaceships in her spare time and
channels ancient Greek warriors.
Linda, ever
mysterious, sent her own profile, because all we really know about
her is that she has actually been everywhere and cooks like a
superstar chef!
|
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Mike W. foredeck has a long
history of handling difficult situations as a death row lawyer, so when
we threw him up on foredeck with no prior experience and asked him to
tame our beautiful yellow chute with the rampant lion, he figured he
could save us....and so he did.
As his picture shows he has
the "Eye of the Tiger" attitude.
This
picture was taken after we raced in the Seaweed Soup Regatta in
the midst of the storm of the Century. You know, the usual sort of
thing: horizontal sleet for 3 hours, high wind gusts and high seas etc..
Clearly he is unstoppable. |
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Connie Ma went from beginner guest one Friday
night, to spinnaker trimmer in the Great Vallejo Race in rain squalls
the next day.
Her appetite for sailing abuse is very
impressive. Impervious to panic under pressure or on the dance floor,
this seasoned architect calls herself a mole and insists she means the
rodent, though we think the femme fatale spy thing is more likely.
Her drinking prowess matches her tolerance for
inhospitable weather. For a picture of
Connie's
Mole click
the link! |
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Jim "Yim" Ilog. Foredeck
assistant and a real player in the karaoke world especially "Endless
Love". Jim comes to us from ....."Spirit of Elvis" which explains the
musical connection nicely. Jim joined us for the Jazz Cup and helped
initiate our "Great Yellow Balloon of Death". Though he spends a lot of
time on sailboats his real passion is "hitting a small ball around a big
ball with an instrument not designed for the purpose" (Golf, for you sea
dogs). His claim to fame: he has made a hole in one!
..........No not in the boat, on
the golf course...of course.
|
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Jo
managed to escape to Madrid without the required going away party so we
will be asking Graham to drink on her behalf at his going away party
this January! This will be big shoes to fill! We hope Graham is up to
it! Jo Hudson
Winch Wench and marketing director.
Jo has recently discovered a "Huge"
talent for promoting our signature product: condoms in a slightly bigger
packet.
She also has two hollow legs and plenty of spare time during the
day, which is a recipe for ruin for sailors trying to keep up!
Jo is fearless as can be
demonstrated by the fact that she and her partner, Graham bought Volt
Air to learn how to sail, and took on the San Francisco Bay with no
assistance, learning the hard way, always, and yet she still loves
sailing. |
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Marcia is our Attack-tician. We have
finally found what we have been looking for: someone to make Russell
drive into close quarters battle without fumbling for the rule book.
Unfortunately for us Marcia has become a boat
owner and moved to the Express 27 fleet. She will be sorely missed. |
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Matt Wood Grinder
and tail man....it sounds worse than it is but we are still trying to
find a picture of Matt with his clothes on!
Here he is
modeling with Maya for Huge! Next time we can get a camera going, we
promise a real photo!
Matt has turned in his fowlies for matrimony at
the present time and is missed by his crew mates. We congratulate him on
his journey!
|
%20Jim%20bio%20web.jpg) |
Jim Margeson tactician. Jim can
juggle more data and crew resistance, than any of the high speed
graphics chips he designs for Invidia (in his spare time), while
maintaining the manners of a Southern Gentleman. A bucket full of prozac
would have less of a calming influence during a race. |
%20Graham%20bio%20web.jpg) |
Graham has retired at the
tender age of 38. He will be found cruising in the Caribbean
Graham Salisbury master grinder
and brew master (ok, ok, he brings the Corona). Graham is anxious to
learn how to make ocean passages as soon as possible so he can save a
fortune on air fares (He is a native of Great Britain) and decided the
best way was to buy a "hole in the ocean into which he can pour money".
We on "Huge" decided to ingratiate ourselves by showing him what not to
do and what not to break by practical example. He still loves sailing.
Graham and Russell share a
Twilight Zone connection: Graham is Russell's brother's name.
Graham was born April 1: Russell's mother's birthday, and Graham's
mother's maiden name is Houlston..... |
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Chris has definitely been around boats. He has
been trimming everything well on Huge and he has had to as he has been
moved around the boat quite a bit.
Despite being on the vomit comet voyage to the
lightship, he has returned for more abuse.
Perhaps he is doing this for his
children, who happen to have four legs and respond well to the praise
"good dog"!
However we doubt it as there is a mysterious
quality to this sail jockey which we are not too sure of: compassion
for rodentia.... er, Dr. Syph? |
%20Dave%20bio%20web.jpg) |
David Esser has been absorbed
into start up companies before and again finds himself on a new
adventure with little time to come out and play. He too will be on the
invitation list, but work is a serious competitor! |
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Heather Harrington has clearly done all the
sailing she needs to be an expert already. For her first race we laid on
some unique factors: a collision at a start, sailing with the pulpit
dangling around on deck, and an early retirement for missing a mark
followed by an award ceremony for a season first place (How
often can you compress that much into an introductory race?).
Heather is calm and pleasant amidst chaos and
Norepinephrine over doses from some
of the crew. Heather is also Russell's
son Foster's teacher so knowing she is an excellent educator, we are
hoping for some great lessons out on the Bay. |
Nocera |
Yu Xie comes to us from the medical field
where she is doing a study on men in their twenties and their
ability to function under the influence of alcohol. Where better to do
the research than sailing on Huge? As this was a double blind test, we
threw in a couple of old timers and beer (Jeff and Russell
volunteered...again). Pretty soon the evening looked like a typical
night of sailing! |
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Jana has eluded all questioning as to her
shady past in Los Angeles or her career in Volleyball. Currently working
closely with Dr Syph and immersed in the world of sexually transmitted
diseases, she enjoyed a saline bath (without flinching) on our opening
Friday Night while wrestling with the jib like a trooper.
For a view with Jana wearing just her
sunglasses
click here |
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Andrea Toth: Foredeck.
The picture of Andrea caught in the galley is displayed for its rarity.
While on sailboats you will find her managing foredeck like a
professional. In fact when the "Great Yellow Balloon of Death" was
raised and jibed and dropped and raised while jibing etc, a comment was
made by one of us less experienced sailors (Less than 20 years of
experience, that is) about how easy spinnaker was. (How little they
really know....). Perhaps the coordination between Andrea and Bill
Woodruff comes from their sharing a Pac Cup Race together or perhaps it
is just because they really know what they are doing; we mortals will
never know. |
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Mike Kastrop: coach. Mike
is the leading expert for the Catalina 30 one design racing community.
On his boat "Goose" He has won a large number of very important races.
Mike has offered his services as coach to almost all the fleet at South
Beach and we could tell that in every case it was a great improvement in
performance for the recipient boats. (It was about time for us!)
Mike's tact and philanthropy have
elevated the sport considerably. Thank you, sir! |
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Maggie Coogan:
Maggie perfected the art of absorbing waves over the bow to protect her
Captain, and bore her task with fearlessness and good humor. Coming from
Florida, and used to bathtub warm sea water, her ruggedness shone
through. |
\ |
Kelly Coogan: The fastest
moving rail candy the boat has ever seen. Her responsiveness to the
never-ending calls to maneuver was a legend of our "Ocean's Thirteen"
race. She also shared her sister, Maggie's selfless side, in absorbing
waves breaking over the bows. When asked if she
liked the experience she said yes and offered that it was more intense
than skydiving. |
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Dani: Dani was initiated into
the sport of sailboat racing with a jibe in high winds followed by an
absence of sheeting out on the main which left her slightly below water
on the rollover side!
Despite such an auspicious
beginning she recovered her dignity instantly and went on to enjoy water
no longer attached to the Bay, deck gymnastics in incredibly crowded
quarters , and her cousin Dr Jeff Klausner's strangely psychedelic
shorts as a backdrop for her views of the Bay.
Dani: you did great out there! |
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Maia Earle: Maia was scheduled
for a date with Huge for another race earlier in the year, and we won
that one. This time she made the trip and we won. Clearly we cannot do
without her.
Maia has recently transitioned
from a desk job at Google to being a firefighter. Well endowed with the
warrior spirit (No! There is no comma between
'endowed' and 'with' you salty lot!), she has had no
difficulty dealing with drama on the high seas, but then again, being
half naked and surrounded by large bodies of water might make any
firefighter feel safe!
Maia is also a photographer, so
very soon we will have a large number of pictures featuring us with all
our competition in the background. We will make those pictures available
soon, sorry Catalina 30 fleet! (Demonic laughter in the
background...think: Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon.)
We at "Huge" hope to see our
lucky mascot back on board soon.
|
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Katherine: as a good friend of
the Woodruffs, Katherine has sailed aboard Huge as a guest and to
experience being single on the high seas. We forgot to tell her about
the reprobate quality of sailors but she actually came back for more!
Katherine is a launcher
(in the business world) which unless we are
mistaken is required equipment for a rocket scientist! At least we think
so. Bill?
We tried to persuade her to
launch condoms, but having a "would my mother approve if she saw
me" test, we had to desist for now....though we are sending all
the links to her Mother for pre approval along with all the bios, so Mom
can see just who her daughter is hanging out with already! |
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Ernie "The Override" Ziesman.
Ernie was hurled into the world of sailboat racing in the "all the
marbles" race of the season, which would be pressure enough.
Unfortunately for this (cough) power boater, he will forever be
associated with an override so spectacular it may be compared to the
Gordian Knot.
The knot was so spectacular we had to disassemble the winch to free the
line during the race. We know he feels bad but we are trying to convince
him that all good overrides are actually a team effort! |
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Yu Yee Wu Deck Jewel, lucky
mascot and winch wench. Yu Yee joins us from the hallowed decks of
Tupelow Honey, winner of the Rolex Cup, as the wife of the owner, not
just a sailor. As such she has experienced the pain of owning a boat
first hand and has decided it is much more fun to watch other people
break their own stuff! Her sympathy and understanding are great team
assets. |
